In the past, I’ve had a lot of self doubt and fear. I didn’t believe that I could be useful in ministry because of my many flaws. It was easy for me to see myself as a mess, someone who was disqualified, and someone who needed to apologize for who she was. Since then, I’ve learned to stop apologizing, and to begin standing up.
I am a powerful woman of God. I have faults, but so did every other woman and man of God that the Lord included in his Bible. That Bible is supposed to give us hope. I can feel that hope as I move through the stories of these spiritual heroes. That’s why I keep believing that I’m still good for ministry.
In the past, I have allowed other people’s opinions of my faults to overshadow my understanding of godliness and spirituality, and this was able to negatively influence my walk with God. However, that cannot continue. I am called with a purpose to see miracles in my own life and to facilitate the miracle working power of God in other people’s lives.
This next part may or may not be true, but I am expressing what I feel and what seems true to me. I feel strongly that there is something within some people that does not connect with my spiritual gifts. I firmly believe that this does not diminish my effectiveness with the people I am called to minister to. Some people love one type of preacher or minister. Other people like another. That’s fine. I’m grown enough to accept this. I saw it as something wrong and it hurt me for a while, but I’m okay now.
Now, concerning any limitations that were put in place regarding the gifts of the spirit, I am not authorized to grant anyone that request. For so many years, I allowed my perception of people’s opinions to stop me from exercising the call of God on my life, and I may never be able to adequately explain how that damaged me spiritually. I think back at how hard I tried to stop. I gave up one ministry after another. I squashed myself down and tried not to talk to people. I didn’t contradict anyone in meetings even when things made no sense. I worked with no resources in every ministry and kept smiling the best that I could. I even tried to leave church to make room for my gifts somewhere else. But now I’ve learned that on my social media platform, I’m free, and there is room for me to minister where opinions cannot stop me.
I’m smiling. I’m talking to everyone. I’m going to keep being 100% myself. I will not turn back from being authentically me. When God speaks, I will speak. You are completely within your authority to control my access to you by clicking away if the thought of my fruit is disgusting to you. But you will not have authority over my anointing. I have decided to tell Satan that I’m done letting him walk all over me. No human can, either. There is no viable reason for me not to be able to speak life into another human being.
No one knows my faults or admits them as freely as I will, but I will never again allow anyone to point out my faults and failures as a disqualifying factor to my usefulness for ministry. I am called, and I will answer that call.
Read my blogs and my books. Watch my YouTube videos. I name the faults, all off them. There are no secrets in my life. I don’t hide my messes. God will use me with them visible. So I’m ready to get to it.
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