RSS Thinking Out Loud … on Paper …

  • Fasting for 21 Days Like Daniel
    What really matters to you? To me, it's all about love. I love God, I love my family, and I love my friends. More and more lately, I love this amazing woman that God made to live in this amazing body that is typing this message so adeptly. Yes, I am learning to love me. […]
  • Go! Run!
    Recently, I stopped attending the church that I've focused so much of my life on for well over a decade. It made no sense. I help in a bunch of little, fulfilling ways, and I didn't really want to go at first. Well, after God told me to go, I asked my husband and my […]
  • My Jewels
    This afternoon, I’m more aware than ever of the richness of my life. During our entire marriage, I think we lived 6 to 8 years above the poverty level, and even then, we always seemed to be struggling financially. We’ve always been technically poor. We’ve never had an excess of money. But oh, we’ve had […]
  • Personal Development Books
    Through the years, I've read some life changing books. "Finding God at Every Turn" by Catherine Marshall was a huge influence upon me as a woman. Even though it was about a life lived decades upon decades before my own, it resonated with me. Another one was "Battlefield of the Mind" by Joyce Meyer, which […]
  • Hecklers & Yellow Team
    I've been trying to change my health habits. As in, I've been trying to develop some, since for most of my life, I've done stuff that should eventually kill me. I've eaten bad food and huge quantities of it. I've sat around and not moved much at all. I've snacked all day long on stuff […]
  • Trusting People Is Insane
    That title had two parts: Trusting People Is Insane, but Forgiving Them Is MandatoryFaith in man has made a fool of me. Over the years, I've given my heart and my faithful friendship to people whom I later discovered weren't ready to be trusted with my confidence. It's a painful experience that we can't even […]
  • Immobilized and Numb
    I feel like a fake. I haven't arrived even close to the face that I portray. You see, I can use big words. I can talk about the right path to take. I can begin doing the right things. But I have never consistently done the right things. I freeze. My whole being goes into […]
  • Am I Good Enough?
    I've spent my life trying to please others and do what's expected. Now, notice that I didn't say that I was trying to be good. Yes, I've tried to be good. Of course, I've really made an effort to be godly, kind, and a generally good person. But sometimes I just begin to get overwhelmed […]
  • On Being a Former Homeschooler
    I don't think the term works. You see, I'm always going to be a different kind of parent and grandparent for the rest of my life, and much of it is due to my background in homeschooling. You see, I can imagine that everything in life will become a chance to teach a lesson as […]
  • Blessings in Disguise
    I'm having a great day. I started the day having a good breakfast, enjoying time with my son, Javi, and then going to the food bank. Wait, what? Wouldn't a person be in perpetual torment if they needed to visit a food bank and essentially accept a handout? I used to believe that, back when […]
  • The Past and Letting Go
    There is one thing that breaks my heart. Disconnected relationships. If my son and his daddy aren't getting along, I'm miserable. If my daughter and I haven't spent time together in weeks, I'm lonely. Why? Because family, and familial love, bring healing to us all.Family is the one place where we can escape and rest. […]
  • Spurring Us on to Good Deeds
    I've tried for years to lose weight alone. Then, I tried again alone. I asked people to help keep me accountable. Then, I made excuses for why I was doing it wrong just this once. More than twice. Finally, in my mid-40s, I decided to get real help.Okay, so this person, a Beachbody coach, has […]
  • A Shelter Under Construction
    When I was a very tiny child, the people who should have cared for me the most did a lot of harm. I'm the same way. I loved my kids. I did my best. But I messed up. I was angry and yelling when I should have been gentle and consistent. I wasn't a great […]
  • I'll Never Do That to My Kids...
    When I was a little girl, I dreamed of being a teacher. I wanted to be like those ladies who knew everything, or so I thought at the time. I wanted to have the power to help young children learn, and I wanted to be nicer than many of my teachers. I would be the […]
  • Praise
    Praise Why is it that when I'm in some real tough situations, all I seem to be able to do is to praise my God? I mean, I'm not as spiritual as that sounds. I'd rather watch TV most evenings than pray. I'd much rather talk to my best friend than listen to a deep theological […]
  • Why Cultural Differences Are a Good Thing
    The best part of life consists in the experience of learning to navigate a new environment. When I've walked among people that I don't understand, I have found my inner self stretching and being renewed. Every new horizon opened me up to a new understanding of life. When I was a little girl, I spent the […]
  • Bikinis and Jean Shorts
    As a 13 year-old, I firmly believed that bikinis were only for supermodels, but on the day my aunt brought home a red and white polka-dotted string bikini, I became a bikini wearer. At first, of course, I decided that she must be unaware of my cellulite. I put it on to show her what […]
  • Failing Big
    I had a neighbor who suffered a stroke. She was a sweet elderly lady who always waved at us and we at her. She worked cleaning houses, and she went to church faithfully every Sunday. She had a son who was mentally ill, and she walked with dignity and a poise that seemed to bely […]
  • Fear and Love
    Today, I am dealing with overwhelming anxiety at 4:00 in the morning. It's really late. I've been up since about 1:00am, and I'm really tired. Yet, I cannot sleep.I'm not the up-all-night type of girl. For example, when my husband was having chest pains and I thought that he might be dying, but he refused […]
  • Free to Fly: A Defense of the Single Life
    When I was 15 years old, the biggest tragedy of my life was that I felt alone and disconnected. I wanted a boyfriend with all my heart. I longed for a romance that would begin right then and last until the end of time. I don't know if you have ever felt such a longing, […]